Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
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