I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize