you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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