i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize