there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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