I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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