I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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