haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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