I cockslap morals
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize