So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
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gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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