so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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