and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize