I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize