If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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