first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
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And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm always down for nudity.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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