2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
my poor anus
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize