YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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