the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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