We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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