You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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