I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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