Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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