I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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