So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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