I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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