Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
this boner is exhausting
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize