I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize