Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize