I showed him my bush... on skype.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
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At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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