This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
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I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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