If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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