the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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