already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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