Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
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We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
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Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize