you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize