I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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