3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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