i will never coherently bang her
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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