you turned your livingroom into a bong?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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