So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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