I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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