You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize