oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
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