Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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