so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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