I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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