so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
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Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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