if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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