tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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