I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
nutella sex= disaster
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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